Up Your Alley (1971)

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Up Your Alley (1971)

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A nerdy virgin who spends most of his waking hours dreaming about big-busted, naked women gets a job catering at a film festival party that is chock full of his 'dream girls'. Unfortunately, he finds himself involved in a Mafia jewel-smuggling plot and must impersonate a Mafia don who he has inadvertently caused to die of a heart attack.

Bet you didn’t understand Woody Allen once starred In a Seventies skinflick comedy about mobsters in Hollywood where he got his face hidden between the boobs of USCHI DIGART and also had a sex scene with HAJI. Well… he didn’t. But Woody-Alien wannabe FRANK CORSENTINO did. Though the bad man really isn’t funny despite being a dead ringer for Woody and having Allen’s shtick down pat, it’s nonetheless nonetheless a bit disconcerting to see an almost-Woody surrounded by therefore much feminine flesh and even smack in the middle of an R-rated orgy.
Corsentino plays a nebbish named Seymour (naturally), who lives with his mother, works for a catering organization, and spends his time daydreaming about being with naked females. In Bang, fact! Bang! The Mafia Gang often reminds one of the nudie cuties of a decade earlier where a comic would wander through a landscape of shapely nudes without ever getting any. It’s pretty a lot the same thing here except that the nudity is much more explicit and the fake Woody gets to nail both Uschi and Haji.

Information technology happens when Seymour is assigned to cater the "film festival party" of "the many popular as well as the most beautiful woman in all Hollywood, "Maria Manina (cat-eyed Haji, best understood for Russ Meyer’s Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! And Great Morning… and Goodbye). Complete of nude people (combined with sexploitation starlets these types of as TERRI JOHNSON and LYNN HARRIS) and billed by Maria as "the freakiest party of them all, the bash quickly engulfs Seymour who gets stoned and leaves in a daze. Another Maria, day satisfies ultra-fat Mafia employer Don Marco whom is pretending to be Fellini, uh, rather, Fettudne, the "noted international movie director" as a method of smuggling jewels, hidden in his crotch, into the U.S. Nevertheless, the moment Don Marco gets into Maria’s car, he tells her to take off her clothing which is when Woody… uh, Seymour, pops up in the back seat, providing a startled Don Marco a deadly heart assault. Haw, haw!

But since Maria’s stepfather is being held hostage until the jewels are offered, she begs Seymour to get into Don Marco’s oversized garments and pretend to be "the head of the entire Cosa Nostra." Information Technology also means Seymour must replicate Don Marco’s voracious sexual appetite even though Seymour is, of course, nevertheless a virgin.

The hilarity…The hilarity.

Oddly, for a movie that up until today has remained instead obscure, Bang! Bang The Mafia Gang was in launch through most of the Seventies under a number of games. Originally shot and released as Up Your street, the title had been then changed to Bang! Bang! The Mafia Gang (aka just The Mafia Gang), then Sex or Bust, and finally The Melon Affair, the moniker on this print.

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Up Your Alley (1971)

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Up Your Alley (1971)

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