Entheos Academy - How to Awaken the Tantric Goddess in a Woman

Whether you’re a woman who longs to open to deeper pleasure or a partner who wants to support your woman’s awakening, here are my top 10 ideas on how to Awaken the Tantric Goddess in a Woman. (Check out the Top 10 Big Ideas from the class below!)

Your Professor
Lisa Schrader, the Founder of Awakening Shakti, has impacted the lives of thousands of people over the past 10 years as a sacred sexuality workshop leader, author, speaker and coach.


How to Awaken the Tantric Goddess in a Woman

In the ancient sacred sexuality and Tantric teachings, a woman’s capacity for erotic potency is commonly known to be much greater than that of a man. If that’s the case, then why the epidemic of sexually unsatisfied women? I believe a contributing factor is that traditional sex for many women lacks some of the key ingredients necessary to arouse the Goddess within from her slumber. The Tantric practices hold a key for bringing the sacred back to sex.

I believe many women suffering from so-called “sexual dysfunction,” including lack of interest, find themselves giving in or giving up on sex not because there’s anything “wrong” with them but because they’re hungry for something that’s missing. With feminine compassion and curiosity, we can begin to explore that longing and how to surrender to greater pleasure. In short we can learn how to tap into “Shakti,” the authentic feminine sensual power that lives in us all.

Whether you’re a woman who longs to open to deeper pleasure or a partner who wants to support your woman’s awakening, here are my top 10 ideas on how to Awaken the Tantric Goddess in a Woman.


The Top 10 Big Ideas


1 Awaken not Achieve

The Goddess in a woman, being by definition a spark of the Divine, is positively allergic to anything that smacks of efforting, pushing or achieving. So we must begin with the context that “awakening” Her implies that she doesn’t need fixing from us mere mortals, but just arousing. She lives inside all women, already sacred, whole, and complete. She may be dying of boredom or withering from neglect but she can be coaxed out of hiding.

It’s foolish and arrogant, however, to think that she needs us to “do” anything. It’s we who need Her. The proper attitude in courting the goddess in a woman is reverence for her presence and humility in the face of her power.



2 A Bigger Game

In the West, we often think of Tantra as a treasure box of ways to have hotter sex but that’s kind of like thinking of a volcano as a good place to roast marshmallows. Yes, awakening the Tantric Goddess in a woman will likely result in unleashing more of her passion and orgasmic fire. Remember though, we like fire when it cooks us a nice pot of soup but we don’t like it so much when it burns down the house.

At this pivotal time on the planet, many brilliant minds say that our very survival depends upon the creative fire, love and leadership of the feminine (which lives in both women AND men). This feminine fire, or Shakti, allows us to come back into right relationship with the earth, her peoples, our environment, and our own heart, body and soul. So awakening the Goddess isn’t just about ways to have better sex, it’s a bigger game than that. We’re also talking about relocating the center of our intelligence rightfully in the heart, knowing ourselves as Divine, and fully inhabiting the sacred vessel of the body.


3 You Get to Define “Goddess”

The Tantric path is about embracing all of life as part of the tapestry, all the individual threads weaving into wholeness, embracing all (not just the parts we like) and rejecting nothing (even the yucky parts). So you get to define what “Goddess” means to you. There is no “right” answer.

Maybe you’re a lingerie-wearing, pole dancing, bad-ass in spike heels kinda Goddess. Or a mantra-chanting, gauzy white linen, incense-burning Namaste vegan priestess. Or a modern super goddess mommy getting her nails done on the way to Zumba class while running your non-profit business.

Whether you’re vibing right now with the infinite compassion of Quan Yin or cutting through crap that no longer serves you with Kali’s sharp sword, know that the Goddess inside each a woman has infinite forms and constantly changes with the dynamic quality of the feminine. Your job is to simply allow your own most authentic expression of Her truth to shine through, moment by moment.


4 Oxytocin Potion

Now for some practical biology because this Goddess does inhabit a human body. A woman’s turn-on is directly affected by her levels of oxytoxin. This is the “tend and befriend” and bonding/relating hormone. Let’s also throw “nitric-oxide” in our fem cocktail, released when we experience any kind of pleasure, the great “fountain of youth” and lubricator of our cells that keeps us feeling vital, juicy and sensual. A woman has to have regular doses of this “good stuff” to counteract her stress hormones–the one’s that make her feel overwhelmed, brittle, tapped-out, bitchy and decidedly NOT sexy.

To keep the nitric-oxide and oxytocin flowing, a woman needs to feel SUPPORTED. This means, she feels like she’s got adequate help, that she’s not trying to do everything by herself, that she can count on others. The greatest aphrodisiac to woman could be having someone else handle the laundry!

She actually needs those girls’ nights for her health; they make her feel a part of feminine community support. A woman needs to make time for whatever is pleasurable to her and makes her feel relaxed (a warm bath, massage, shopping when she’s got time to meander, cooking if she enjoys it, getting a pedicure, having a glass of wine, reading a novel). Even 20 minutes of a simple relaxing pleasure practice can connect a woman to her feminine wellspring and open the door so the Goddess can peek her head out.


5 Touch Her Like a Goddess

Women often complain that men, in particular, touch them in a way that feels like they’re trying to “get” something. The masculine, being directional and goal-oriented, may understandably be trying to turn her on or arouse her, perhaps to pave the way for sex, orgasm, or some other goal. In the moment, however, that “future” agenda can make a woman feel pressured to perform or “get somewhere else” other than where she currently is.

Instead, be present in THIS moment. As you touch her body (or yourself if you’re self-loving), bring your awareness to the actual sensation of skin on skin. Send love through your touch into her body. Bring curiosity to your touch, as if you’ve never touched a body before. If your mind goes into habitual thought about “this isn’t it; what’s coming next that could be better or bigger than this,” simply recognize that and bring your awareness back to the present, back to the breath, and what you’re actually sensing through your touch.

Touch with reverence. That awakens the Goddess within. That catches her attention. Rather than “goddess” being a mental concept, image if you actually had the opportunity to touch the Divine Feminine. How would you do it?
Touch like that.


6 Slow Down, WAY Down

Something as precious and powerful as the Goddess doesn’t hang out on the surface of things; she resides deep inside, protected. If you wanted an appointment with a queen, you wouldn’t be allowed to just march into her bedroom unannounced. You would be met every step of the way by guardians who would determine whether you met the qualifications necessary to usher you to the next gatekeeper.

When we approach a woman too quickly, with an agenda instead of presence, she may become aroused and enjoy herself, but we miss access to those deeper chambers. It’s as if those corridors are off limits and guarded because the conditions haven’t been met to warrant access.

So we end up settling for something superficial when, given more time, we could have reached a whole new level of unknown delight.

We settle for fast food because it’s easy and feeds a habit rather than making a slow-cooked feast that could more deeply nourish us on every level of our being.

As we know, typically women are slow to warm and men are quick to fire. As such, taking time, probably much more time than you think, to stoke her fires will naturally open one gateway after the next until you find yourself approaching the inner chambers of the Goddess herself.


7 Trust: The Golden Key

Quite simply, without establishing trust with a woman, you won’t get very far with her inner Goddess. In the hierarchy of our sexual needs, there’s nothing more important for a woman than the need to feel safe.

Because our authentic feminine sexual energy has the power to be so potent, our orgasms so annihilating to our ego-identity, our pleasure so transformational, we need to be able to trust that it’s safe for us to completely let go into that mystery. If we are going to truly dissolve, at least for a few moments, into the Oneness of divine union, we have to trust that someone or something is going to hold things down while we’re “gone” and help us to come back and reassemble ourselves once again.

Demonstrating integrity, keeping our promises, being our word, paying attention: trust happens in many ways, over time. First we have to know that we can trust ourselves. As women, that means trusting the messages we get from our heart, body and intuition.

Heeding that wisdom. Then we’re better able to attract and choose trustworthy partners. And ultimately, we’re always learning to trust life and Spirit.


8 Meet Her at the Heart

Contrary to what you might think, the seat of a woman’s orgasmic potential lies not in her genitals but in her heart and specifically her breasts. Her sex center is often cooler and more passive whereas her heart center is hotter and more active. For men it’s typically the opposite.

So if you want to warm her up sexually, meet her in the heart first so that that energy can melt down. Make sure she feels loved and appreciated. Encourage her to share her feelings and speak about what’s in her heart.

Spend time with her breasts, the gateway to and protectors of her heart. Imagine touching the breasts from their point of view rather than trying to “get” anything from them. By lovingly touching the breasts in the way that they want to be touched, a woman can relax and begin to naturally send signals to the rest of her body that it’s safe to open.


9 Ask Permission to Enter

Very few woman have ever had the experience of being asked before being entered. Unfortunately, most of us have had the experience over and over again of being pushed into well before we felt ready or receptive to penetration. To awaken the Goddess in a woman, spend time at the sacred gates of her vagina, or “yoni” in Tantra teachings, meaning Sacred Source of all Life.
Make sure before entering that you feel her drawing you in, welcoming you. A receptive and awake yoni will literally magnetize to her what she wants. And consider the practice of asking permission out loud to a woman before entering her, “May I enter your sacred space?” The goddess in most women will respond instantly to such expressions of honoring and reverence.


10 Riding the Orgasmic Peaks and Valleys

The masculine in us loves to rush to the finish line, meet the goal, win the prize. But the feminine in us likes to go with the flow, feel everything along the way, and surrender over and over again to evolving journey itself.

So as you build in arousal during lovemaking with another or with yourself, enjoying the ebb and flow of orgasmic energy will inspire the Goddess within. Rather than rushing to the “peak” orgasm and then crashing back down again, play with building the orgasmic energy and then relaxing and surrendering it, resting in the “valley” of sensation.

When making love to a woman, remind her to “let go,” help her relax and ride the waves of orgasmic energy, moving like water through her body. Remember to use your breath to “draw” the orgasmic energy out of the genitals and allow it to spread through the rest of your body.

Every woman was born a Tantric Goddess. Unfortunately, we just forgot a lot of things along the way and had a lot of those damn “growing” experiences. You might think She’s not in there but I believe she is, just sleeping. I invite you to try some of these practices and think you’ll find that your inner Goddess is quite eager to be seen, longing to be known by you. Meet her half way.

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